2nd draft of Application Letter
Paula Sng Ren Yuan
123 ABC Street
#111-222 Singapore 123456
(+65) 9123-4567
paula.sng@gmail.com
9 February 2011
Ms Christine Tan
Human Resource Manager
Sumitomo Bakelite Singapore Pte Ltd.
No.1 Senoko South Road
Singapore 758069
Dear Ms Tan,
Application for R&D Engineer Position
I am writing this letter to express my interest in joining Sumitomo Bakelite Singapore Ptd Ltd as a R&D Engineer (Product cum Customer Development).
As a recent graduate from NUS with a Bachelor of Science degree in Chemistry, the exposure to an extensive range of chemistry modules at NUS has equipped me with the knowledge in various aspects of organic, inorganic and physical chemistry. Furthermore, studies in spectroscopic applications and analytical chemistry have enabled me to improve my laboratory analysis techniques.
My education has provided me with a comprehensive background in working in a laboratory and builds up my social skills. During my industrial attachment in polytechnic, I was assigned to a Quality Assurance laboratory where I was responsible for performing quality checks on semi-conductor materials as well as preparation of the injection molded samples. In this attachment, I demonstrated stringency in my work and problem-solving on a daily basis. Through challenging leadership positions, I have developed a strong sense of responsibility, effective interpersonal skills and the ability to contribute to teamwork, even in high-pressure environments. As a member of SCAMP Committee 2009/2010, I successfully planned social programs for 300 of my peers as part of the Freshmen Orientation Programme in NUS.
Having developed a keen interest in the field of polymer science, it is my aspiration to gain a foothold in the polymer industry. Thus, with my combined knowledge of chemistry and polymer technology, I hope to be given this opportunity to pursue a career in polymer technology as a R&D Engineer with Sumitomo Bakelite Singapore Pte Ltd.
My resume is enclosed for your evaluation. I will contact you on the week of 14 February to schedule a time in which I may further discuss my qualifications for the R&D Engineer position. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your positive reply.
Yours Sincerely,
Paula Sng Ren Yuan
Enclosure
posted by Paula @ 07:30
5 Comments
5 Comments:
Hey man,
3rd paragraph has a few grammatical errors. about 2 to 3.
Cheers
Hi Paula,
I have highlighted a few modifications you might like to make.
'My education has provided me with a comprehensive background in working in a laboratory and builds up my social skills.'
>> 'In my course of study, I was provided with the opportunity to work in a laboratory. [I don't understand how working in a laboratory will build up your social skills. Or do you mean that during your time in NUS, you have developed your social skills. If so, it might be better if you explained how]
"Through challenging leadership positions..." could be broken into the next paragraph.
Hope it is useful.
@Mark: Hi Mark, I'm sorry but could you be more specific regarding my grammatical errors? Thanks.
@Michelle: Hi Michelle, thanks for the comment. Regarding the social skills part, I meant that being in NUS has allowed me to develop my social skills as a build up to the sentence "Through challenging leadership positions...". I will elaborate on this separately in the cover letter. Thanks for the help!
Hey man,
"My education has provided me with a comprehensive background in working in a laboratory and builds up my social skills."
Would it be more eloquent, short and sweet, and fine-sounding to say "....a comprehensive background in laboratory work..."?
Also it is ungrammatical to say 'builds'. It should be 'built'?
"In this attachment, I demonstrated stringency in my work and problem-solving on a daily basis. "
In this sentence, might it have been much better to use 'discipline' than 'stringency'?
"Through challenging leadership positions, I have developed a strong sense of responsibility, effective interpersonal skills and the ability to contribute to teamwork, even in high-pressure environments."
In this sentence it is ungrammatical to say high-pressure. Rather you should use 'high-pressured'?
Cheers
Que tiene suerte:)
Hey man,
On second thought, the final point I made above isnt really correct. It should be high-pressure, not high-pressured. If you really want to use the past tense i would say use 'highly pressured'
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